Rollercoaster

In the past few weeks I have found myself struggling a lot with my own inner feelings. Anymore I feel as if I am on a constant emotional rollercoaster or fighting a fight that I cant see. I know to many this may not make sense but it comes with part of having clinical anxiety disorder. I think of things that most people would never imagine happening, the worst case scenario that can send your heart into a serious defribulation, pounding, head spinning and thoughts racing through your head. This normally occurs late at night when I am laying in bed doing everything in my power to sleep, but my brain takes over and causes me to basically have a panic attack.
Ive been trying to look into ways to cope and handle this. It really messes my moods up for the next day as I am exhausted from sleep deprivation, I become angry because I cant control in. I find myself lashing out at the ones that I love the most. I feel very alone in this battle and I am tired of feeling this way anymore. This problem has ruined a lot of things for me in my life. Ive been very down in the dumps lately looking for that little ray of sunshine to break through and give me some relief. And in the midst of all of this Logan has hit the terrible two's. Patience is a virtue but somedays I find it a very thin sheet of ice. No doesnt mean no anymore, talking in a normal but stern voice takes screaming at him for it to register after telling his the same thing ten times over, meltdowns over EVERYTHING, begging for every waking second of my attention while trying to do homework...need I go on?! Then on top of this, my relationship with my fiancee' has been a tad bit rocky. I am seeing that there is a serious LACK of communication on one end of it. Its making me very bitter as things are sprung on me last minute and then when I point it out I get the "oh I mentioned it last weekend." There is a difference with beating around the bush or being very upfront. As you can assume, its the beating around the bush till the day of, an hr before and I am not expected to be upset?! So when I finally find a way to confront the situation and I think things are going to get better, the same crud happens the VERY next night! How do you get a man to see that they need to talk to you about those things? That you have feeling actually involved? You might have plans and then they make you feel guilty if you deny them their fun....As I said earlier I am on a rollercoaster and I want to know when the ride is over!